


Hi. I'd like to return some feelings.

by flower_baby



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Art Major!John, Dance Major!Reader, Eventual Thomas Jefferson/John Laurens, F/F, F/M, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Multi, Poli Sci Major!Thomas, Polyamory, alex knows everything, george just wants everyone to calm down, herc is #1 mom friend™, i cant write smut for shit, idk how to tag?, john and reader are fwb, lots and lots of naps, maria is also a dancer, martha is a bit of a bitch for like one chapter ://, martha is the dance instructor, more characters will be added, more relationships will be added, naps, reader is confused about her feelings, reader is extremely whipped, so is thomas, thomas and john dont like each other at first, thomas is mean to everyone except reader
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-10
Updated: 2019-03-07
Packaged: 2019-09-15 09:28:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16930692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flower_baby/pseuds/flower_baby
Summary: Y/N catches feelings for two guys and tries her best to ignore them.It doesn't work.





	1. C.1-Mine

**Author's Note:**

> i have exams tomorrow
> 
> lets hope i make it out alive

“Jefferson’s an assface.” Startled by the sudden remark, you look to the person who said it. Alex glared at Jefferson as he walked by your lunch table, his chocolate orbs narrowed at the taller male. 

 

 “Okay,” you drag out, “Jefferson is an assface because…?” Alex raised an eyebrow at you, an unimpressed look on his face. “Because he is. Was I not clear the first time?” You only rolled your eyes at him, unamused by his answer. “Well, typically, when one calls someone else an “assface”, there is a reason behind it. So! I’ll ask again. Jefferson is an assface because…,” you paused again, waiting for Alex to pick up the end of the sentence. “Because he is,” he repeated, laughing at your annoyed face. 

 

“Y’know, for an English major, you are shit at reasoning,” you reply snarkily, a playful smirk dawning your face when Alex pretended to be hurt. “Oh Y/N! You wound me fair maiden! How couldst thou sayeth yond to me?” You roll your eyes again at Alex’s over dramaticness, chuckling softly as he continued to speak in Shakespearean. 

 

 “Alright, you nerd. I get it.” Just as you said that John came up behind you and tickled your sides. You jumped at the sudden sensation, immediately laughing and giggling as you tried to grab his hands to get him to stop. “John! John, stop! Oh my–,” you wheezed out, your insides burning and tears coming into your eyes as you continued to try and get John to cease his attack on your sides. He stopped with a chuckle and took the spot next to you.

 

 “So~, how was your day,” John purred out, leaning close to your face as he did so. You rolled your eyes at him, a light red tint on your cheeks as you pushed his head away. “It was great, you dork. But you need to get your friend over there ‘cus he is working my nerves right now,” you said, gesturing to the man who was currently gagging at the both of you.

 

  “Alex, what’d you do?” John raised an eyebrow at his friend. “Nothing. Just stated a fact,” Alex responded, shrugging his shoulders. “But  _ you two _ , something happened between you both, huh,” it was now Alex’s turn to raise an eyebrow at both you and John.  Neither of you answered him, but your reaction was enough to confirm his suspicions. 

 

 “Nothing. Nothing happened,” John said, eyes unwavering as he stared at his friend. Your heart shattered the tiniest bit, as you had developed some feelings for the boy, but you figured it only made sense.

 

  You were you, and what you were, was this hardheaded, stubborn girl, who angered a lot of people. While John was, well, he was John, an amazing guy who was on the school’s football team and a fine arts major like yourself. He was popular and outgoing and an easy guy to hang with. 

 

_ He was everything you weren’t. _

 

 Abruptly, you stood, cleaning your area and getting ready to throw away your trash. 

 

 “Hey, where’re you going?” John asked as Alex eyed you suspiciously. You just smile back, a bit of pain in that smile, but not too noticeable. “I just remembered that Maria and I have set we need to practice for class. It’s like 30 percent of our grade so we scheduled to go over it today.” It wasn’t a complete lie, you did have a set to go over with Maria, but you didn’t plan on practicing today. Despite that being the case, you were still going to go to the dance studio to relax.

 

John nodded softly, his curly ponytail moving with him. He got up and gave you a quick hug before he left. Alex waved to you, you doing the same as you left the cafeteria.

 

_ ^-^-^-^ _

 You found yourself laying on the hard, laminated, wooden floor of the dance studio, out of breath and exhausted. You had spent at least an hour going over your set and then another two hours tweaking things that seemed off to you. After that you spent 30 minutes coming up with choreography for your solo project. You got about half way through the song before you called it quits.

 

 As you stared up at the ceiling, you heard someone come into the studio. You figured it was either Maria or Angelica, but to your surprise, it was Thomas. Last you heard, Jefferson was a poli sci and law major, so why he would be in a dance studio was beyond you.

 

“What’re you doing in here Jefferson?” you asked, not in a rude way, you were just curious as to why Thomas Jefferson was in the dance studio.

 

All you got was a shrug in response, the male strolling around the room aimlessly. “I heard music and decided to come and check it out. Sue me,” he said. You only scoffed at him, rolling onto your stomach and stretching out. You groaned as you did, your muscles sore from the intense workout they had just a few minutes ago.

 

 “Do you need help,” you heard from above you. You looked up to see Thomas towering over you. He looked strangely angelic, the ceiling lights bouncing off of his mass of curls.  You shook your head, laying it back down on your arms. “No, I just need to sit here. And die slowly,” you said. 

 

 Thomas chuckled softly, moving to sit next to you. You turned your head to look at him, confusion painting your facial features. You raised an eyebrow at him, and he just stared back you. 

 

 “What are you up to Jefferson,” you sighed, placing the flat of your palms on the floor and pushing yourself up. “I can’t sit with you,” he questions, his eyes trained on your movements. “Well, last I remembered, you hate the people I spend my time with, therefore, you hate me by association,” you say as you stretched once more, waking your body up for the next part of your rehearsal. You let out a satisfied hum when you heard the bones in shoulder blades and arms popping, your joints loosening up from their previously stiff positions. 

 

  “I don’t hate you,” you heard. You turned back to the man who was still seated on the floor. You were taken aback by this response, not really sure how to respond. Quickly, you turned around as you felt your face fluster, a small tint of red dusting the apples of your cheeks. You cough awkwardly, shuffling to the bluetooth speaker your phone was connected to. You turned it on and retrieved your phone, scrolling your playlists to find the one for your project.

 

 “I’m uh…I’m about to start practicing again. So…um, if you could leave that would be greatly appreciated,” you said lamely, your voice becoming quiet and mumbly at the end. Thomas raised an eyebrow at you, a flash of something flicking through his dark brown irises. “Why can’t I stay,” he challenged. “I—,” you tried, but any argument you had died out in your throat. 

 

 Sighing, you shrugged, going back to scrolling through the playlist for the song you were working on. “Whatever. Stay if you want to. I’m not in the mood for fighting with you right now.” Thomas once again raised an eyebrow at you. It was strange to see you like this, defeated and mopey. He’s never fought with you directly but he’s heard stories from Laf about how your headstrong a lot of the time and nothing seemed to stop you from arguing with someone. You were like a slightly more manageable Alex.

 

He decided not to say anything about it, moving to sit in the chair by the desk in the corner of the room. Ignoring his presence, you got into position in the middle of the studio floor, remote that controls the speaker in hand as you readied yourself for the routine.

 

 As soon as the music started, you moved with it, your body flowing along with the melody. The set your doing for your solo project is a contemporary piece that you had been working on for months. The song you chose was  _ ‘Bubblegum’  _ by Clairo. You chose the song since it sort of reflected how you felt about John. You wanted to be with him  _ so bad _ , but you knew it could never happen.

 

 You stopped about halfway through the song, right around the part where it goes ‘ _ Pepto Bismol veins and I grin,’ _ and the instrumental transition into the next verse. You listen to the rest of the song, just going through the motions as you slowly come up with choreo for the rest of it. Suddenly, the sound of clapping sounded from the right side of the room. You jumped and turned to meet Thomas’s eyes, a grin on his face as he clapped at your performance. You had genuinely forgotten that the boy was still in the room with in the short minute that you had been practicing.

 

“That was really good,” he said, grin widening as you blushed slightly and looked away. “It’s not even finished…,” you mumbled, looking down at your bare feet as you wiggled your toes against the hardwood floor. “Doesn’t matter. It was good and I’m sure the finished product will be just as good, if not better,” he said encouragingly. You only looked at him confused. 

 

_  Why was Thomas Jefferson being so nice to you? _

 

 “What’s the deal Jefferson,” you asked skeptically, hands coming up to your hips. He only looked at you baffled by the sudden shift in mood. “What do you me–,” he tried but you cut him off before he could finish. “You know what. Why are being so nice to me all of a sudden? You never expressed that you even _ tolerated _ me before, so why now?” You raised an eyebrow at him as you waited for a response.

 

Thomas struggled to find something other than the  _ actual  _ reason he came to see you. He knew that you were in here since he saw you walking out of the lunch room and he knew why he was here with you. But he didn’t want to tell you that.  _ So he told a half truth. _ “Like I said,” he started, “I never hated you. I never had a reason to hate you, so it wouldn’t make sense for me to just be rude to you.”

 

 You eyed him suspiciously, wanting to find the real reason but you were too tired, physically and emotionally, to over analyze him at the moment. Quietly, you sighed, moving to gather your things. “Whatever, I’m not about to fight you on this. You have your reasons, I guess.” You slung your black and white duffle bag onto your shoulder, walking over to the door. You turned back, looking at the taller boy. “See you around, Thomas,” and with that, you left the studio.

 

_ ^-^-^-^ _

 

 You woke up to the sound of your alarm, which was some old 2000’s song that you didn’t even like. You groaned, slowly moving your hand to your phone to turn off the incessantly, annoying noise. You didn’t even have classes today, so getting up would be fruitless, but you got up anyway.

 

_ ‘The least I could do is move to the couch.’ _

 

You went through your morning routine on auto-pilot, your brain still laced in sleep. You slowly shuffled back into your room after showering, digging through your dresser for some lounge clothes. You settled on a white oversized graphic t-shirt with Stitch on it and some light grey leggings. Just as you finished getting dressed, you got a text from John. Opening it up, you smiled at the message.

 

**athletic turtle:** _ Good morning precious >3< _

_ Sent a second ago _

_ Read now _

 

**You:** _ good morning freckled turtle _

_ Sent now _

_ Read now _

 

**athletic turtle:** _ i told you not to call me that >:c _

_ Sent now _

_ Read now _

 

 **You:** _i just dont know what ure talking about??_

_ Sent now _

_ Read now _

 

 **athletic turtle:** >:|

_ Sent now _

_ Read now _

 

**You:** _ <333 _

**You:** _ dont leave me on read _

**You:** _ john  _

_ Sent now _

_ Read now _

 

**You:** _ johnathan laurens if you dont answer me right now then i will tell herc that you like him _

_ Sent now _

_ Read now _

 

**athletic turtle:** _ hA jokes on you! I dont even like him like that anymore :PPP _

**athletic turtle:** _ wait,,,,, _

_ Sent now _

_ Read now _

  
  


**You:** _ i win :) _

_ Sent now _

_ Read now _

 

**athletic turtle:** _ i hate you _

_ Sent now _

_ Read now _

 

**You:** _ <3333 _

_ Sent now _

_ Read now _

 

**athletic turtle:** _ anyways, i need to talk to you _

_ Sent now _

_ Read now _

 

 That worried you a bit.  _ What was it that he needed to talk to you about. _ Hesitantly, you replied, fingers hovering over certain letters before you felt what you had typed was the best way to approach the situation.

 

**You:** _ about what? _

_ Sent now _

_ Read now _

 

**athletic turtle is typing…**

 

 Now this really had you on the fence. 

 

_ What if he found out about your feelings? _

 

_ No, that’s not possible. You’ve only messed around one time, and even then you made sure that he suspected nothing. _

 

 A small  _ ding _ from your phone brought you out of your thoughts. Hesitantly, you looked at your phone, dreading whatever it is that John wanted to talk about.

 

**athletic turtle:** _ you dont have classes today right? _

_ Sent now _

_ Read now _

 

**You:** _ no, why? _

_ Sent now _

_ Read now _

 

**athletic turtle is typing…**

 

You bit your lip as you waited patiently for the boy’s response.

 

**athletic turtle:** _ cool ill stop by your dorm in like 20 mins _

_  Sent now _

_ Read now _

 

**You:** _ wait, what? _

_  Sent now _

_  Read now _

 

**athletic turtle:** _ im coming over now _

**athletic turtle:** _ to talk to you _

_  Sent now _

_  Read now _

 

You raised an eyebrow at the message.

 

_ ‘Why would he need to come over?’ _

 

You decided against responding, just going with it. If he wanted to come over, then he could. It’s not like there’s anything stopping him. The dorms were co-ed. With restrictive borders of course, the dean and the school board aren’t stupid enough to let hormonal young adults roam around like horny teenagers. Setting your phone back onto your dresser, you made your way into the small kitchen area of your dorm to make yourself something for breakfast.

 

 You looked into your small fridge, searching for something that could be considered nutritious. All you found was day old, Korean BBQ and two jugs of water. 

 

_ ‘I really need to go grocery shopping.’ _

 

 Sighing, you took the Korean food out of the cooling box. You placed it in the microwave, waiting for it to warm up to an appropriate temperature for you to eat. As you retrieve your food after the microwave beeped, you heard a knock on the door. Taking your food with you, you shuffled over to it, opening it to reveal one John Laurens.

 

He was dressed as casually as humanly– and acceptably– possible. He was wearing a football t-shirt, the college’s name scrawled on the chest of the material and sweatpants covered his legs. His hair was thrown back into a messy ponytail, the small curly strands that fell free framing his handsome face. 

 

_ ‘Even when he’s not trying, he looks amazing.’ _

 

“‘Sup,” he said, eyeing your form. You, strangely, felt underdressed while he was here. Moving to the side, you let him in, turning to grab a fork to eat your leftovers. “How has your morning been, John? As you can see, mine is going  _ splendid _ ,” you claimed, raising your take out box of Korean BBQ, causing the boy to chuckle. “It’s been fine,” he hummed out, “Texted a beautiful girl this morning. She made me laugh,” he smiled as he saw your cheeks flush a light pink color. 

 

 You rolled your eyes at him, looking down at your food as you poked at it. “Whatever, dork,” you scoffed, “Didn’t let you invite yourself into my home so you can use your dorky pick up lines on me.” John only continued to smile that amazingly, gorgeous smile, the one that made your insides do eight backflips. You sat on the couch with John, shoveling a small piece of chicken into your mouth. 

 “What’d you need to talk to me about,” you asked, words slightly slurred from the mouthful of chicken you currently had. John looked to you from the corner of his eye before he turned his body towards you, grabbing your take out and placing it on the small coffee table that sat in front of you both. You swallowed the bit of food still in your mouth anxiously, eyeing John apprehensively from your side of the couch.  

 

 John inhaled a bit, like he was preparing for something. 

 

_ Because he was. _

 

 John always took a calming breath when he needed to still his nerves, whether it’s before a game or just something simple like admitting something.

 

_ Admitting something. _

 

 “So, uh,” he awkwardly cleared his throat, mulling over how he should tell you whatever it is he wanted to tell you. “Alex told me, um yesterday, that…,” he sighed, dragging his hands down his face. John then pulled you into him, sitting you on his lap. You squeaked when he moved you, doing it so effortlessly like you had weighed nothing. You didn’t know what to do with yourself to be honest. You didn’t want your chests to touch but you also didn’t want your faces to be so close that you could practically feel his lips graze your own.

 

_ ‘This is literally the most awkward situation I’ve ever been in.’ _

 

 “Jefferson was with you yesterday,” John’s soft voice brought you out of your thoughts, your eyes snapping from where you were staring, which was the wall behind John’s head– which you now regret as you met his hazely-green eyes. 

 

_ ‘Wait, what?’ _

 

 “What?” You were confused as to why he even knew. “How did–,” “Alex told me. He saw Jefferson walk into the dance studio and he said he hadn’t seen you around since you left and you weren’t here so…, yeah,” John cut you off, his hands holding yours as you stared in disbelief at him. 

 

 Why would he care if Jefferson was with you or not? It’s not like you did anything. The most interaction you had with Thomas was when you were leaving the studio. Other than that, both of you were as distant to each other as normal.

 

 “Well, yeah, he was,” you started, your mind still trying to find the reason why this was important. “He said he heard music and decided to check it out or something. I dunno. I was tired and just wanted to finish my project, so Jefferson’s presence didn’t bother me that much. But why do you care,” you asked, looking to the older boy expectantly.

 

 John’s hands gently ran up and down your sides, causing a small shiver to travel up you spine. 

 

 This wasn’t anything new to your friendship with the boy. John was always a physical kind of person. He loved to show his affection through little touches. Whether that love is platonic or romantic. You never really minded it, it was his way to show that he cared. But what made you upset, was he showed the same amount of physical touches no matter  _ what _ kind of love. He’s given forehead and cheek kisses to you before, but he’s also done that with all of his friends, including the ones that he  _ knew  _ were in a relationship. So you never knew if he actually liked you or not.

 

 John’s hands stopping their trips on your sides brought your attention back to him. He sighed and looked into your eyes, a flash of something trailing through them. “I just… I just don’t want him hanging around you,” he started, his eyes never leaving yours. “He’s a bad person and could really hurt you.” 

 

 ‘ _ Well he didn’t seem that bad when he was with me.’ _

 

 You sighed as you looked at him. “John, I–,” you were about to protest when you felt a pair of lips on yours. John kissed you fervently, his lips moving hastily against your own. You were shocked at first, not really knowing what to do, before you kissed him back. His hands trailed down to you hips as your lips continued to shift against each other.

 

_ You loved this.  _

 

 The feeling of his lips on yours felt so right. Like nothing else could ever feel as good as this did.

 

 Just as quickly as the kiss started, it ended as John pulled away. The look is his eyes sent tremors down your spine as you looked back at him with your own E/C orbs. They held such a dark intensity that had you stomach constricting as you felt his grip on your hips become tighter.

 

 “You’re  _ mine, _ Y/N.”

 

 Hurriedly, he picked you up, carrying you to you bedroom.

 

 He gently tossed you onto the bed, immediately hovering over you. He lowered his head into your neck, lightly biting the skin there. You gasped at the feeling, your hands gripping his shoulders. “Let’s make sure you remember that.”


	2. C.2- FUCKED

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Awkwardly soft moments with Thomas and Y/N.
> 
> Martha Washington being a bit of a bitchy teacher for like 3 seconds.
> 
> John being a lil bit distant but it's fine.
> 
> Y/N starting to become confused about her feelings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow im alive 
> 
> sorry for not updating. i hit a bit of a weird spot with where i wanted to take this chapter and had to revise it a lot but it's finally finished. hur-fucking-ray.
> 
> also 'martha' is martha washington and 'manning' is martha manning. i just didnt want people to be confused as to which martha i was talkinga bout so i just called martha manning by her last name.

 You were fucked. 

 

Literally and metaphorically.

 

It had been two days since John came over and you had been confused since. Normally with your agreement– which was fairly new– he would come over to either talk or make out.

 

_But this._

 

This was a first. 

 

You had never had full-on sex with John, just casual sessions of kissing each other and then a movie, so when John took you to your bedroom, you were more than surprised. 

 

You enjoyed it thoroughly, sure, but your feelings had never swayed since your recently extreme intimacy with the boy. In fact, your positive that they have gotten worse. Which didn’t help you at all.

 

Whenever you would run into him or spot him at lunch, you couldn’t help the sudden red hue that reached up your neck and onto your face. You couldn’t even look him in his eyes when he spoke to you. And  _ touching _ . You just about died on the spot whenever he made  _ any  _ physical contact with you.

 

So to put it short, yes.

_ You were fucked. _

 

^-^-^-^

 

The walk from your dorm to the studio wasn’t too bad. You had a run-in with this girl in the lounge, ‘Martha Manning’ you believed was her name, you hardly knew– or liked, on your way to the studio. She was in your dance class but you rarely ever talked to her.

 

You arrived at the studio, early as always, to see Martha Washington, your dance instructor, watching some routines on her laptop as she graded them based on the rubric. “Morning Martha,” You called out to the older woman, setting your things down onto the hardwood floor. 

 

She looked up from her computer and hummed to acknowledge your greeting, before moving her eyes back to her laptop. “You’re earlier than normal,” she says, her eyes never breaking away from her computer, “Is there a reason for that?” You look at her indignantly, your lips open as you rolled your eyes at her. “I can’t come to the studio early?”

 

She finally broke her gaze away from the laptop screen, an eyebrow raised and her arms crossed over her chest. “It’s almost seven. Class doesn’t even start for another hour and a half.” Your eyebrows shot up in surprise, knowing she had caught you.

 

_‘Damn you and your perceptiveness, Martha.’_

 

“What’s wrong Y/N,” she asked, getting up from her desk in the corner of the room and walked over to you. She looked in your eyes as the E/C orbs flashed something across their irises. You scoffed at her, shifting your weight from each foot. “I’m fine, Martha,” you said, turning to your bag to get your dance shoes and empty water bottle. “I’ve just been really,” you paused, thinking of the right word for what you were trying to say, “ _ focused _ . I guess.” Martha eyed you suspiciously, before turning back to her desk and sitting back down to finish grading routines. “Alright, but just know, I’m here if you wanna talk.”

 

You nodded, walking up to the mirror and grabbing the bluetooth speaker. “Is the room–,” “Yep,” Martha said, cutting you off, already knowing what your were going to ask. You hummed in thanks, exiting through the door and heading to the older studio next to the newer one. You always used the older studio as a practice space when Martha was grading or creating choreo for shows.

 

As you shut the door to the studio, you think about what Martha said. She was right, there was something wrong and as much as you wanted to talk to her about it, you couldn’t. You didn’t want to bring her into your stupid boy drama, nor did you want to hear about how stupid you were for getting yourself into the mess. You knew how dumb you were for still being friends with benefits with the guy you had feelings for, but you couldn’t really find a way out of it.

 

You put the speaker in the corner by the door, sitting in front of the mirror to start stretching.

 

_ ^-^-^-^ _

 

You and Maria sat in front of each other as you helped each other stretch. “So, you slept with John,” she whispered, a sly smile on her face. You rolled your eyes at her, pulling her forward by her arms. “Yes, but–,” “Oh, sweetie. There are no _buts_ about it. You had sex with one of the university’s biggest heartthrobs…and you enjoyed it.” You blushed at the words as Maria pulled you forward. 

 

“Okay, but what do I do about my _problem_ , Maria,” you hissed, moving to cross your legs as you rested your elbows on your knees and cupped your face in your hands. “Well, it’s not like you can avoid him. He’s one of your best friends, so he’ll notice that something’s wrong. The most you can really do, is act like nothing’s happened,” Maria told you, putting her right leg over her left and leaning back against her palms. 

 

You groaned in frustration. “This whole thing is a mess, and it’s my fucking fault,” you sighed as you covered your face with your hands. “You’ll be _fine_ , Y/N. I’m sure everything will work out and John will realize how amazing of a girl you truly are and you’ll walk out of this with a boyfriend,” Maria said as she reached forward and rubbed your thigh. 

 

You only groaned again in response, absolutely not believing that one bit. You were a realistic person, who believed in realistic things, and that whole scenario was far from real. The likelihood of John having the same feelings for you was in the negatives and you’ve tried to learn to accept that, but one part of you refused to believe that John didn’t return your affection. You guessed that’s why you had this agreement with John. You wanted to feel something with him, and you did. But at what cost?

 

“Alright people,” Martha called out to the class, “Gather round, we have a lot of work to do today.” You and Maria got up from your place on the floor to join the crowd of people that surrounded Martha. “As you all know– or _should_ know– our annual winter recital is coming up,” she said, looking to those she knew were skipping her class. “So, today is just working on choreography and cuts. Tomorrow is rehearsals and formations and the rest of the week will be costumes. The time leading up to the actual recital will be rehearsal in the amphitheater,” she concluded. “Now, off to your little, self assigned spaces so I can teach you this choreo,” she exclaimed as she made a shooing motion with her hands.

 

You and Maria went back to your spot as Martha started to walk the class through the dance. When she left you to practice it by yourselves, you and Maria started going through the motions to get it down to a t. 

 

“One and two, three and four,” you counted, assigning the numbers to certain moves. “Five, six, seven and eight and,” you finished. “Are we doing it to music,” Maria breathed out before grabbing her water bottle and taking a drink. You nodded, sitting up against the wall and taking a sip out of your own water bottle. You pulled the legs of your sweatpants up to the middle of your calves and stood. Maria pulled the song up on her phone, turning the volume up as far as it could go.

 

“Hey, wait,” you heard someone call out to you before you could start. You turn and are met with the same girl from this morning. “Can we practice with you guys?” You looked to the other girl that stood next to Martha. Her name was Adrienne Françoise de Noailles, you believed. She was in your English class and the most you’ve ever said to each other was hi.

 

You looked to Maria for approval and all she gave was a shrug and a look that said ‘why not’. “Sure,” you replied shortly.

 

_ ^_^_^_^ _

 

Soon, it was time for cuts. Martha stood at her desk with her clipboard, watching over the group of people as they danced. Occasionally, she would stop the music and call out those who were cut and then start playing the music again

 

Once cuts were over, Martha let everyone go, saying that she’ll post the list for parts in the quad and the commons tomorrow.

 

You breathed out heavily, grabbing your water bottle and drinking from it. You hadn’t been cut for anything since cuts had started, which was back to back dancing, so you were more than _just_ exhausted. 

 

“Y/N,” you heard someone call out to you. You turned around to be met with Lafayette’s handsome face. “Hey, Laf,” you exclaimed, striding over to the taller boy and hugging him. “What’re you doing here? Don’t you have class,” you questioned, walking over to your bag and packing up your things. “Well, _we_ wanted to come and get you for coffee,” he said. You raised an eyebrow at him, pushing away a strand of hair that fell from your ponytail. Before you could say anything, your feet were off the ground. You gasped as you felt yourself being lifted up, your E/C orbs widening in surprise. You then heard a _familiar_ laugh. That heart-warming, inside-melting laugh. 

 

Slowly, you were put back on the floor, the person keeping his arms around you as you turned to face _him_. 

 

_John._

 

“Hi baby girl,” he purred out, gently pinching your side. You jumped slightly at the sensation, a deep blush on your face as you finally registered what he called you. Quickly, you recovered, hitting John’s chest lightly. “Don’t call me that, dweeb,” you mumbled, picking up your bag and slinging it onto your shoulder. John only chuckled at you, playing with a strand of hair that hung lazily in your face. 

 

“Pretty weak comeback for you, Y/N. Have you lost your touch,” he prodded, a smirk adorning his handsome features. 

  
  


You rolled your eyes at him, huffing in indignation. “Just tired,” you half muttered, “Been working since I got here.” You started heading towards the studio door, the two boys following you closely. Before you step out, you bid goodbye to Martha and Maria, telling Maria to meet you here after lunch to work on your set.

 

“So, coffee,” you asked as you made your way to the front.

 

_ ^-^-^-^ _

 

You, Laf, and John sat in a booth at your favorite coffee shoppe. You were curled up next to the wall, John sitting right next to you and Laf across from you both. You were the only ones there, other than the two employees who were currently in the back.

 

“What were you working on in class today,” Laf asked as he lightly blew on his hot cappuccino. You hummed, sipping on your chai tea as you turned to face him. “Y’know the winter recital we do every year,” you asked him and he nodded. “We started working on the choreo and cuts,” you said, taking another sip from your tea. “Ooh~,” you heard John purr, “How do you think you did?”

 

You shrugged, not really caring about your performance. You were never a boastful person. That’s not saying you weren’t confident that you did well, you were sure you proved yourself. You just liked to let your work speak for itself. If it was bad, then you would take the criticism needed to perfect it and apply it to the second product. If it was good, then you keep doing whatever it was that made it good.

 

“You know how I am about performances,” you stated, turning to John. “Well, you have to give me _something_ ,” John sighed, sipping his caramel frappuccino. 

 

You were about to say something as you heard the little bell above the door ring, signalling that another person had entered the small venue. Your breath hitched ever so slightly at the sight of the new person and their friend.

 

_Thomas._

 

The tall, curly haired man slowly sauntered toward the register, dressed in a white dress shirt, faded blue skinny jeans, and a blazer, which was a cute red velvet color. Thomas lazily held the blazer in his left hand, his other hand in the back pocket of his pants. His hair was up for once, a messy bun sitting at the back of his head as stray curls framed his face. The man came in with stood next to him, his dark brown hair cut short. He dressed much like Thomas, but his blazer was just a normal black with the same velvet texture.

 

Thomas leaned up against the counter looking at the menu before finally ordering. The employee nodded curtly as they put in the order and told him the cost. He handed them his debit card and punched in his pin before receiving it back. He waited as his friend ordered, gingerly scrolling through his phone.

 

‘ _You should really stop looking at him.’_

 

_‘Your borderline stalking him at this point.’_

 

Quickly, you diverted your eyes to your, now lukewarm, tea, a gentle flush spreading across your cheeks as you felt yourself become embarrassed that you had been staring. You prayed to all the Gods that exist that he didn’t see and if he didn’t, that he won’t see you. 

 

Then, you suddenly remembered you weren’t alone. You looked up to see Laf eyeing you slyly and John looking at you with an unreadable expression. “Ooo,” Laf practically sang, “Y/N has got a crush,” he said huskily, leaning in closer to you as you glared at him. “No, I don’t, Laf,” you huffed, looking down at your tea once again and playing with the tea bag. “Ma chérie, I have known you long enough to know when you like someone and that look you gave Thomas was a clear indicator,” Laf hummed before he sipped on his caffeine and eyed you mischievously. You groaned in annoyance at your friend, setting your head down on the table.

 

“Listen, french fry–,” you had started but you were quickly cut off as you heard someone else approach you table. “Laf! How’s it been,” you heard from above you as you looked up to that Thomas and his friend had seemingly seen your table and decided to come over. “I have been good,” the frenchman said before getting up and hugging the southerner. “I see you have brought James with you.” The man standing next to Thomas who looked as if he was texting someone on his phone, looked up at the sound of his name. Thomas nodded, chuckling slightly. “Yeah, finally manage to get him in between one of his TAing sessions,” Thomas smiled before looking at the rest of the table.

 

He practically skipped John, his dark brown eyes barely even registering his presence. But when his eyes landed on you, boy did you feel awkward. You hadn’t talked with him since that day in the studio, not that you had a reason to anyway, but you still couldn’t help but tense up at the feeling of his gaze on you. You were still confused as to why he came into the studio in the first place and why he didn’t hate you like he hated everyone else you were friends with.

 

“Hey Y/N,” he said softly, causing you to jump at the sudden direct address. You looked up at him and smiled gently. “Hi Thomas,” you hummed, sipping your tea for an excuse to not be apart of the conversation. “What’ve you been up to,” he asked awkwardly. Or maybe it wasn’t awkward. Maybe it was just you as you did feel fairly cumbersome at the moment. 

 

“Nothing really. Just… preping for this winter recital, so…yeah,” you finished lamely, once again playing with your tea bag and not meeting his eyes. You looked up as James slightly nudged him, mumbling something about it being time to go. Thomas nodded before turning back to you. “I have head out, but I’ll see you later,” he asked, looking at you expectantly. “Sure,” you muttered, offering a nervous smile to him as he and James made their way to the door.

 

“Ah,” you heard Laf exclaim, looking at his phone. “I am very sorry mes amis, but I have to go as well. Mon petit lion has asked for my help with something,” he said hurriedly, hastily scooting out of the booth. You leaned over to John, who had surprisingly remained silent since you had first noticed Thomas’ presence and whispered to him. “Code for Alex sent him nudes.” John chuckled heartily as you both waved goodbye your tall friend. “You are so gross,” the freckled man said, still snickering at your comment. “C’mon, you know it’s true,” you laughed, lightly hitting his shoulder. You both sat in a comfortable silence, enjoying each other’s company. 

 

“Y/N,” you turned your head to John, who had softly mumbled your name. “Yeah?” You could see the hesitation in John’s hazel orbs, causing you to wonder why he felt unsure. He shook his head, seemingly wanting to drop the conversation. “It’s nothing. Don’t worry about it,” he said, placing a hand on the middle of your back and leaning in to plant a kiss on your forehead. 

 

But it _wasn’t_ nothing, and you couldn’t help _but_ worry.

 

_ ^-^-^-^ _

 

You strolled to the studio with Maria, both of you chatting animatedly about the choreo for your set. You’ve always loved working with Maria. She was a cool person with a chill personality when you get to know her and she was great to bounce ideas off of.

 

As soon as you both stepped into studio, you noticed both Marthas and Adrienne standing in front of Martha’s desk. “Hey, just the ladies I wanted to see,” Martha exclaimed, gesturing for you two to come closer. You and Maria shared a look of suspicion before walking over to the three other women who were in the room.

 

“What’s up,” you asked, your eyebrows furrowed in confusion. Martha beamed at the two of you as she sat in her chair. “I was thinking that it would be good to add Ramsey and Adrienne to your set,” she said, her smile never faltering as she looked at the two of you. 

 

Both you and Maria looked at each other with shocked looks. _‘How could she just add two new people to your set?!’_ “Martha, I don’t think that’s a good idea,” you said, your voice barely above a whisper. “And why not,” Martha countered, “Both of them are exceptional dancers and would add a lot to the performance.” You couldn’t deny that. Both Martha Manning and Adrienne have performed phenomenally and have yet to disappoint. “That is true but me and Maria have already choreographed half of our set. Adding them would throw a wrench in everything and we’d have to redo everything,” you argued. “Well, Y/N, you’re a smart young lady, I’m sure you can figure it out.” With that, Martha left the studio, leaving you and Maria with the two other girls.

 

You stared at the door Martha had left out of, shock and frustration evident in your eyes, when Maria had gently tapped you on your shoulder. Your head snapped in her direction and she motioned you to walk over to the furthest corner of the studio.

 

“Are you okay,” she quietly asked once you both were out of earshot of the other two girls. “Define okay,” you muttered angrily, arms crossed over your chest. “I can’t believe Martha did this,” you hissed, “Especially when the recital is literally _weeks_ away!”

 

Maria agreed with you wholeheartedly. It was incredibly dumb to suddenly add two people to your set when the day you have to perform it is quickly coming upon you. But if this is what Martha believed would elevate the performance then so be it.

 

“I get that you’re upset, but there’s nothing we can do about it,” Maria sighed, placing a soft hand on your upper arm. “Yes, we _can_ do something,” you said, “Surely Martha can be reasoned with and see why this is such a bad idea—,” “No, Y/N,” Maria interrupted, “You know how Martha gets when she has an idea about a performance.” You just sighed, knowing that she was right. There truly was nothing you could do.

 

Begrudgingly, you walked back over to Manning and Adrienne, huffing out any irritation you held toward the entire situation.

 

“So,” Manning mumbled, looking to Adrienne for a brief moment, “Where should we start?”

 

_ ^-^-^-^ _

 

About an hour or so passed and practice was as decent as it could’ve been. You and Maria spent most of it modifying your set in order to fit the two new additions in and stopped when you got to ‘ _Pick it up’_. Manning and Adrienne learned fast so that helped but that didn’t make it any easier.

 

Both girls goofed off a lot of the time, not really focusing on the instructions you and Maria were giving them. And much to your annoyance, they half assed everything. You get that they were learning it still but they didn’t just half ass it when you were teaching them. They did it when you practiced the dance as a whole.Which caused a lot of tripping during transitions, formation and choreography mistakes, with you and Maria being the recipients of the occasional kick in the knee or accidental slap in the face.

 

Having enough of being battered for one day, you called practice to an end. As you were gathering your things together, Maria lightly tapped on your shoulder. You turned towards her as she gestured to the studio door, saying, “You have a visitor.” You looked to the door and saw John standing there, seemingly waiting for you. 

 

You about to walk over to him when Manning stepped right in front of him. “John! Hi! It’s been so long since I’ve seen you,” she exclaimed, hugging the boy and catching him a bit off guard. He awkwardly returned the hug, smiling tightly when Manning finally pulled away. “Hey, Martha. I didn’t know you’d be here,” he said, trying his best to be polite. “Yeah, Adrie and I just got assigned to be apart of Y/N’s set,” she exclaimed, turning and gesturing to you. “But how’ve you been? Is football still going well? And your classes? How’re those?” Ramsey kept rambling on and on about everything, you were hardly able to keep up with her.

 

Sighing as you realized you weren’t about to get any time to talk with John, you finished gathering your things, quietly bidding Maria goodbye, and headed out the door, sending the curly haired boy a pointed glare before you were completely through the door. 

 

You didn’t know why you felt so shitty about not getting to talk to John. You just didn’t like that Ramsey seemed take all of his attention and that left a sour taste in your mouth.

 

Quickly whipping out your phone, you were about to put your music library on shuffle when you heard someone calling out your name. Turning in the direction the sound came from, you saw Thomas rushing up towards you. 

 

_ Fuck. _

 

You didn’t have enough time to decide whether you should keep walking or stay, as the tall boy was already in front of you. “Hey,” he breathed, looking down at you. “Uh, hi,” you said quietly, eyes downcasting onto the ground. “Sorry we didn’t get to talk much at the cafe. Me and Jemmy had a meeting with the debate club,” Thomas said, nervously rubbing the back of his neck. You shook your head, smiling softly at him. “It’s fine. I get it, having a busy schedule and all.” “Oh, yeah. How’s that going? Practice for the recital, I mean,” he asked.

 

You only groaned at the very thought of the previous 4-ish hours. “If I’m gonna be totally honest, not great,” you sighed, bringing your free hand up to rub at your temples, beginning to continue walking. “Wanna talk about it,” he questioned, sensing the sudden frustration that was bubbling underneath the surface of your skin.

 

You didn’t want to tell him. Hell, you hardly knew him. But something about him made you feel like you could tell him. So you did. You told him about how Martha forced you to take Manning and Adrienne into your set. How they continuously half assed everything and that you now had bruises scattered up your calves. 

 

When you told him about John, you both were at the cafe you had been at earlier that day. “No,” he gasped, as he sipped on his iced macchiato. “Yes,” you exclaimed, a chuckle following shortly after. “The dick barely even looked at me when she rolled up on him. And she just kept asking him stuff like she was playing twenty questions,” you groaned, playing with the small tag that hung off your cup of tea. “I hate him sometimes,” you mumbled, picking up your tea and sipping on it. 

 

“But…,” Thomas said, trailing off to let you continue with his sentence. “I dunno,” you mumbled, “I guess he’s too cute to stay mad at. Unless he does something incredibly stupid, like starting a fire in the cafeteria. Which happened in high school, he got suspended for like 3 days,” you chuckled, drinking more of your tea. Thomas’s eyes lit up at the sound of your laugh, the sound sweet to his ears. 

“You don’t deserve that,” he quietly muttered. “What do you mean,” you questioned, giving him a perplexed look. “How he treated you. You don’t deserve it. Your his best friend, and it seems clear that he doesn’t see you as anything but that. So for him to lead on like he did and then just dump you for some other chick is absolutely ridiculous,” he voiced, his midnight dark eyes never leaving you own E/C ones. “Or at least, that’s what i think.” 

 

You were shocked at Thomas’ response, not really knowing how to feel about it. On one hand you were upset that he read into it as much as he did and felt the need to voice his opinion about the whole situation. You didn’t need him to look into your life and tell you what was what, you could figure it out by yourself, like you had been doing for years. But on the other hand, you knew he was right. You knew that John could, and would, never reciprocate your feelings, and you were setting yourself up for heartbreak and pain, but you couldn’t help it. Something about John made you want to go the extra mile just to spend time with him.

 

You only shrugged, staring down at your tea cup and swirling the liquid inside it with your spoon. Thomas looked at you, his eyebrows creased and worry evident on his face. “I guess you’re right,” you murmured. “Are you okay? Did I say something wrong? I’m sorry if I did,” he rushed out, frantically trying to apologize which you thought was adorable. “You’re cute when you’re all flustered like this,” you chuckled, which caused a light blush to make its way up the boy’s neck, making you laugh even more. “You didn’t do anything,” you sighed once your small fit of laughter had subsided, “I’m just being my stupid self and realizing how I fucked myself over.” 

 

“I don’t think you’re stupid,” you heard Thomas counter, making you snap your gaze back onto him. “I think you just got caught up. I can tell that your feelings for him are strong and you just wanted to feel intimate with him,” he concluded, drinking the last of his iced macchiato. You felt your face flush at the fact that he was able to read you so well just from talking with you for a little over an hour. 

 

“You’re really something else, Thomas Jefferson,” you stated, pushing some hair out of your face. He only chuckled at your response, small crinkles forming next to his eyes. “Why thank you, Y/L L/N,” he smiled, small giggles falling from his lips.

 

The rest of your day continued on like that, you and Thomas talking with each other, sharing ideas, laughing at each other.  _ It was nice _ . You felt refreshed when you were around him, like you didn’t have to worry about any of your problems and insecurities with him.  _ You liked that.  _

 

By the end of the day, Thomas was walking you back to your dorm, laughing about how you ran from a dog that was in the park you two walked around thirty minutes ago. “Shut up,” you whines, tugging on the taller boy’s dress shirt sleeve. “That dog was vicious and you know it!” Thomas only chuckled even more at you, his hearty laugh bouncing off the walls of the hallway. “That ‘ _ vicious beast’  _ was a one year old shih tzu that could barely see past its hair. Plus you’re like 4 times its  height,” he teased, a smirk spread across his face.

 

You rolled your eyes, softly laughing at your own foolishness. “Whatever, that wild animal tried to steal my ankles, which I need to dance,” you replied, sticking your tongue out at him as you arrived to the door to your dorm room. You stopped in front of it to unlock it, taking out your keys from you hoodie pocket. Sliding the key into the lock, you turned back to Thomas, a soft grin adorning your features. “I guess I’ll see you around,” you mumbled, looking down at your feet shyly, before you felt a hand on your chin, gently lifting your head up to meet his eyes. “Cool,” Thomas smiled, the corner of his eyes crinkling adorbly. 

 

Abruptly, Thomas quickly pressed a soft kiss to your cheek, dashing away before you even realized what he did. “See you, Y/N,” he called, turning the corner before you could reply. 

 

As you entered your dorm, your brain seemed to have finally caught up with the rest of your body. A gasp ripped through your lungs, your heart stuttering in your chest as you reached a hand up to the spot on your face Thomas had kissed. You felt your face heat up as you leaned back against the door, realizing something that would probably make everything even more confusing and complicated than it already was.

 

_ That you were beyond fucked. _


End file.
